well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
