I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
