Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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