Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
