why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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