plz talk dirty to me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
