yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
