You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
