Kiss
Puke
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
