She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
