We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
