I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
