I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
