hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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