To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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