Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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