whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
