We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
