You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it glows. i had to have it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
