all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it because I queefed?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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