i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
