But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ttyl tear gas
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
