i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
