does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
