I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
