i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
