turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
