So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
