Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
should my penis look like a turkey
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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