Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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