My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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