i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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