i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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