And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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