My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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