508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
