No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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