our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
