This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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