we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
