I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
