Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
