Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
