i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
