let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
