i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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