I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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