I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Randomize
