hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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