He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
