i just had sex bonerless
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
