Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
