the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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